As I talk about in my about page, Marissa isn’t actually my real name – rather it is a name I have chosen to take online for privacy reasons, and chose in memory and honour of a very dear friend I lost many years ago in a car accident.
November 27, which of course was yesterday, is the anniversary of the day we lost her. The accident was a few days earlier, and she held on for those several days. Her family and friends were of course devastated, myself included.
Her father and sister were injured too, but they pulled through.
Marissa was absolutely my best friend, and we spent a lot of time together. When I was trying to understand my sexuality, she was the friend who sat and listened to me for countless hours on countless days while I worked through my feelings.
I was never in love with her, but we were close on that kind of level – I could have seen myself falling for her had I figured myself out, and allowed myself to live within the sexuality I would later confirm myself to be.
But that’s when we lost her.
November 27 is difficult for me every year, and I usually take the day off work as an annual leave day to visit her where her ashes are interred. As I did yesterday.
Just like it was for Marissa, music has always been an important part of my personality, and I immerse myself in some of the music we both loved on the anniversary each year – just to spend a little time with her.
One of our favourite songs was Jon Secada’s “Just Another Day” – we both loved the words, and the passion of his performance.
Last night I found a female cover of the song on YouTube, and it absolutely bowled me over – it is just beautiful, and I could almost hear Marissa herself singing it again, like we did together sometimes.
Simply perfect.
I still miss you, girl.
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